Waking up today feeling like the world was making camp on my shoulders, I grudgingly rose after laying in bed for an hour and a half scrolling through meaningless posts on social media. Did it matter how drunk people got the night before at their Halloween parties? No. Did I still waste an 90 minutes of my life silently judging everyone? Yes.
After I dressed myself in the best hobo-wear I could while still trying to look presentable, I started my car and headed to a local bookstore/cafe to get some of the world's weight off my shoulders (a.k.a get some work done). The drive was really, really great. I was cruising at a comfy speed of 45 mph in a 35mph zone when a small Volkswagen Beetle zipped out in front of me then slowed down to a speed of roughly 28 mph. Clenching my steering wheel with contained road rage I continued on my journey, closely tailing the car in front of me. Driving the rate of a turtle is actually quite relaxing. At this velocity you have the leisure to glance at the events happening around you. However, I was still peeved at the person in front of me. At a stoplight I saw a man standing in front of a library blowing bubbles and laughing. This innocent moment made me instantly filled with jealousy. I envied this man of bubbles. I envied his carefree wand movements through the air. I envied the goofy smiled splayed across his face. As I sat there envying this man, the light turned green and I was promptly beeped at to move along. Though do I really wish to be this man? I would take my sanity any day over being blissful for a moment but with a lifetime of insanity.
Finally reaching the cafe, The Unlikely Story, I grabbed an iced cafe mocha and took a risk and got a different salad from what I usually get. This risk however did not pay off. It was a very bad salad. I stayed at the cafe for four hours. As I became one with my heavenly leather chair and began to develop arthritis in my tired typing finger joints, I looked up to see a man that had been there for a half hour staring at his computer with a book splayed open. The book was titled something like "The Concept of NOW". Casually letting my gaze drift over the man's shoulder to his computer, I saw at least 25 tabs open, each one having to do with something completely different. One was about the cold war, another was about available college courses. This man was at least in his 50's. An hour passed an I looked up at the man again and saw his face contort into an expression of humor and pain. He pressed a hand to his temple and indulged his agony for a total of 7 seconds. Everything about that man screamed FAILURE and DESPERATE... written all over his face with a sharpie. The spell quickly passed and he continued his work on his computer, and I continued mine.
Insanity is everywhere. People may think that their mind is the only mind plagued with demons, but take a moment and look around and you will see much differently. The grown man playing with bubbles and the grown man breaking down are two completely different types/levels of insanity, but each one is just as intruiging. Watching one indulge and give into their insanity is a captivating occurrence. When you witness a person's mental collapse you see something so personal in private you almost want to look away... but you can't. We as humans crave secrets and mysteries. People often share the moments when they are in utter joy and even in crippling despair... but no one shares the moments when they lose their minds. No one wants others to know that they are capable of experiencing such a frightening occurrence. Happiness and sadness are two seemingly "normal" behaviors. Insanity is not by any means seen as "normal". As I sit here as witness to such catholic insanity... I wonder when it will be regarded normal. I also wonder when I will stop taking risky chances regarding my salad choices.